We’re just a few hours short of dedicating a day to giving thanks for all the wonderfulness within our lives. We normally like to promote the positive to its fullest, but in this instance would could not resist mentioning another day! Yes, we are anxiously anticipating the Black Friday frenzy that will quickly follow Thanksgiving Day! Let’s talk about the day dedicated to the Wackadoo Freak Show Shoppers of the world (us included)!
***Men, let us begin by offering our condolences to you. Putting it nicely... you look like you’ve just been run over by a dump truck :)! It’s not long before you’re sanctioned to the middle of the mall to stand like a statue or if you're lucky enough to find your place among an uncomfortable bench. But we give you kudos for giving it a go. Innocent bystanders placed in the line of fire, YEP, that’s what you are! Your primary purpose is to be expert valet parkers, who can turn that wheel or put the grocery-getter in reverse on the drop of a dime. Finally, we hope you’ve been pumping iron, the loads of bags and coats you get stuck with are enough to substitute your P90X workout for the day.
Now, here’s a little snippet of our past experiences and observations!
1) Remember preparation for these Wackadoo Freak Show Shopper began well in advance of Thanksgiving Day. (Thanksgiving is only used to go over the detailed game plan).
* Deals have been identified, routes are planned, and the shop ‘til you drop mentality is emphasized by the Wackadoo “Leader.”
2) This is a great opportunity to catch everyone in their finest moment.
* 4 A.M., comfortable clothes/shoes, no makeup, hair slicked back (slick rick style), and above all else…coffee breath in full effect! Fortunately, keeping your distance from dragon breath Debbie should be easy; half of the people you recognize try to do a 2 step past you in order to save face. This is perfectly fine because not only do you look just as terrible, but more importantly time is of the essence on this day—saying hello could cost you!
3) Don’t you find it a little odd when parents decide to bring the kids? We do too!
* Some parents have a valid excuse; others knowingly use kids as a decoy for cuteness and a roadblock to the best deals. Better yet for the parents, screaming babies can potentially drive the competition away. If you’re shopping…don’t be fooled, spot the kids and there’s always a deal right around the corner!
4) Watch out for other teams (typically working in pairs)! Grandma usually serves as a secret spy and Mom turns into a monster.
* Never…we repeat NEVER try to take something away from a MOM (especially if there's a thin layer of upper lip sweat--she's been working hard)! Talk about walking into the Lion’s den. A) It’s not worth it unless you want to see Mama Bear’s protective instincts B) It’s probably the number one item on precious little Timmy’s list to “Santa,” --the odds of an amicable ending is not likely C) Most importantly, what’s that small shadow behind mom? OOPSIE…That’s no shadow, yep you got it…Grandma is bearing that sweet innocent smile but don’t be fooled she’s definitely got a weapon (purse) in hand.
After celebrating the Black Friday Frenzy it's okay and perfectly normal to feel like you've witnessed a soon to be released episode of Hoarders. Please share because we’d love to hear your experiences too!